The Titanic lifeboat rule
Just once, I’d like someone to announce their “deeply concerning and weird” professional news on LinkedIn. It doesn’t always have to be EXCITING.
Thing 1: Don’t TALK to me until I’ve had my COFFEE
I don’t drink coffee, but I wish I did, because it seems like people who drink coffee hate talking to people, and sometimes I do too, but I have no good excuse.
Instead, this is the only way I’m able to communicate why I don’t want to talk.
Thing 2: Pigeon Report
For those not familiar, Adrian Chiles is a middle aged British man and an opinion columnist at The Guardian known for writing 500-850 words about his opinions on either a) the most inane shit on earth or b) weird problems that I think are exclusive to Adrian Chiles and Adrian Chiles alone.
However, finally (relegated to the “Birds” subsection), Chiles and I are on the same page:
If you thought I hated pigeons---I have nothing on Adrian:
Grade: C…because he’s lucky they’re just harassing him via his gutters (aka “downpipe”)
Thing 3: A good idea I had
I remember some time ago that soccer fans in Istanbul were getting too rowdy, so as punishment, they had a game where only women and children were allowed to go. And I think we need to do that more often, but for just regular things, like going to the grocery store, riding a plane, or watching Mamma Mia at the cinema. We can call it the “Titanic lifeboat” rule.