The great Build-A-Bear stock market crash of 2006

Oooof, what a rough week, amirite? And to add insult to injury I’ve recently had some devastating professional news, specifically that I am still in one and required to do it day in and day out.

Reaching that one year mark of the pandemic really reminds you…well it reminds you of nothing because this is your first pandemic (unless…you, after finding an ancient talisman, transported yourself back to the pandemic in 1918, where you were stuck in time for several years, and managed to buy some stock in Jello early on, then used your talisman to travel to the 80’s where you made a cool million after cashing in on the Cosby-Jello boom. Which reminds me, when I was in high school, we had to take this “practical skills” class where they taught you what the stock market was and you had to fake-invest money and I used all my fake-money to invest in Build-a-Bear and my teacher was like, “that’s not really wise.” And I was like, “hang tight buddy I think this is gonna pan out.” He was correct, I lost all my fake-money, and I did not receive a great grade on that assignment!) 

Theme music for this newsletter            

This would make a great soundtrack for a romantic Valentine’s Day:

Pigeon Report      

Happy to say that there is not a lot to report, because there was two feet of snow outside all week, and predictably, the pigeons probably are all buried under it. That’s what I hate the most about NYC winter/spring. You get all this stupid snow, and it never fully melts until spring, and then its just like…mummified rat and pigeon skeletons everywhere like a demented and not-very-powerful zombie army.

Grade: C because I can’t “c” any pigeons right now.

Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers

Unfortunately, nothing juicy enough from this week that’s worth sharing…someone out there needs to entice Scott Baio to get in (and lose) a fight. That’s kind of what I’m in the mood for right now gossip-wise.  

The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently

Who couldn’t use a nice Cossack hat?   

Shit you really ought to read             

A deeper look at bro-culture and misconduct in the Burger Records scene. Megacycle shifts at Amazon. A lovely memoriam for SOPHIE. If you’re working from home, maybe wait for the vaccine?