The Gobbler
Can someone please explain to me why I’m perusing the online Wawa sandwich menu, when the nearest Wawa to me is in *shudders* Newark? I clearly need to go make dinner…or do I need to drive an hour and a half to eat this specific sandwich which intrigues and frightens me?
You know what’s even more disturbing…I worked a job for a year next door to a Wawa (god I just love the “culture” of Northern Virginia y’all!) and STILL I have never had a hoagie at Wawa. So why now? What’s changed? And I haven’t even watched Mare of Eastown yet (looks kinda like a bummer tbh but love mah girl Kate!) Now I simply can’t because I’ll just like, quit my job just so I can drive to Newark for one afternoon.
Life works in mysterious ways y’all.
Theme music for this newsletter
There is something deeply satisfying about taking brisk walks while listening to Queens of the Stone Age, fortuitously catching the train right as you get to the station and then sitting down and feeling a deep need to flip one’s ponytail.
Pigeon Report
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen a bunch of pigeons eating a piece of fried chicken and I’m afraid it shan’t be the last.
Grade: F! That’s cannibalism, right?
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
Obviously, I haven’t yet seen House of Gucci, but I am hoping and praying so hard for it to be campy+bad. I am running out of campy movies to watch. I tried Death Becomes Her last night, and even though Goldie Hawn+Meryl Streep+Isabella Rossellini is perfect, it left me disappointed. Not enough BAD acting! Not enough DRAMA. When will I find a new campy film to become obsessed with and endlessly quote to people who have not seen said film? The last legitimately new campy film made was Burlesque and that really is an excellent film but that was a million years ago at this point.
I blame Trump, that guy ruined camp. Real life was too insane for movies to compete.
I hope this movie is an insane as the trailer and promo, and specifically, that there’ll be payoff for Lady Gaga’s bad Italian accent living in my head rent free right now. I mean, Adam Driver is camp, though he is fully unaware of it. Jared Leto WISHES he was, but is unfortunately just the worst.
Answer: I realize this whole thing isn’t celebrity gossip at all, I just think Lady Gaga’s fake Italian accent is a treasure and I so desperately want this movie to be…kind of bad?
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
Damn this is so vague…what kind of Chinese food does he want? Are we talking like, a home cooked meal from a grandma? Unlimited dim sum? A leftover container of PF Chang’s that still has my bite marks on a piece of orange chicken? Need more specifics here my dude.
Shit you really ought to read
Vietnam’s rock and roll queen. Everything’s bigger in Australia. Seriously, fuck Joe Manchin forever.