Sloths in muumuus

Do you have a voice for your pet? My medium-sized cat has a “voice” I use to “talk” with her, and she sounds like a 60-year-old Czech Muppet with a drinking problem. Yesterday I found myself singing Chris Bell’s “I am the cosmos,” one of the saddest songs in the entire universe, in my cat’s “voice.” So that’s what one year into the pandemic looks like.

Theme music for this newsletter            

Okay this but like in the voice of a middle-aged woman at Prague Spring.

Pigeon Report      

I bring you another story from the good-twin of the pigeon, the dove. But this tale has dark underpinnings, so if you’re medically at-risk, I would encourage you to stop reading this newsletter and see a doctor immediately! I’m not a medical expert. I’m a doctor like “Dr. Phil” is a doctor.  

Image 1: A dove started nesting by my friend’s window.

Image 2: Her freakishly cute cat performs a safety inspection.

Image 3: In the cutest turn of events in the history of mankind, her cat becomes FRIENDS with the dove. The dove and its partner move in permanently and lay some eggs. Everyone’s having a great time.

Image 4: Tragedy. The eggs are abandoned. Turns out, these doves are deadbeats. Perhaps they really were pigeons all along. You know what would be cute though, is if a cat adopted baby doves. Jesus, the Dodo needs to hire me STAT to pitch some ideas. Here are a few cute animal videos I would like to see:

·       Tortoise teaches baby to savor life and slow down

·       Sloths in muumuus

·       This kitten is best friends with their parole officer 

·       This senior dog was denied social security, until this social worker helped him sort out some paperwork

·       Puppy emulates Andrew Lloyd Webber

·       Baby giraffes. Enough said

Grade: A+ to the kitty, F- to the shitty parents

NEW SECTION

Ephemera I’m into (Each week I highlight some random historical ephemera I’ve discovered that is probably only interesting to me.)

I love Flickr, it’s one of my favorite places to go look at hundreds of photos of random family’s reunions, complete with photos of teens who would rather be anywhere else. Anyways, a really great photo stream is from this Danish Film museum. They have a lot of neat collections, in particular I’m obsessed with these photos of silent film star Asta Nielsen. And they’re all Creative Commons so who’s to stop me from blowing up these photos and wallpapering my bathroom with them! We. Shall. See! 

The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently   

Hmm, if you’re Christian and you need a t-shirt to remind you, maybe you have bigger problems on your hands.

Shit you really ought to read             

Intuitive fasting is intuitive bullshit. Why Black Women Activists Started Wearing Denim. Geez, just say abortion.