Shop-rong, is that a thing?
Hiiiiiii it’s me, ‘memba me? Sorry for the long hiatus. To whom am I apologizing? Me, I guess? It’s not like y’all pay for this public service.
The last few weeks/months. I got a new job (cool), I spent some time out West (don’t ask, I traveled with this family called the Donner’s and it got really weird, really fast. Worst party of my life), and I was tired (lame.)
But all this time I have been eager to write, I just didn’t have the ENERGY. I’m old now. I remember where I was when Janet Jackson’s nipple ring came off, which shockingly, literal ADULTS weren’t around for.
I keep a list of things I might write about, and boy are there some BRILLIANT ideas in there. For example, I made a note at midnight on a weekday at some point where I just wrote “Shop-rong…is that a thing?”
So clearly my brain has been producing some top tier work right now.
Theme music for this newsletter
I’ve been obsessed with “The Righteous Gemstones,” of late, and it is literally some of my favorite TV in ages. It just gets evangelical mega-church culture SO WELL. And this song from the show, is supposed to be a parody of that 70’s/80’s/90’s country-Christian-pop, but honestly it kinda rules?
Pigeon Report
I’ve written before about Mike Tyson, domestic abuser, rapist boxer, and #1 supporter of pigeons. Far be it from me to generalize, but it sure does say something that a really shitty guy is a huge fan of pigeons. Really makes ya think. Makes you think about what he sees in pigeons.
If you don’t believe me, just look at his Twitter profile picture:
Must be easy for him to say things like this when you haven’t been the VICTIM of a pigeon-poop attack like I was:
Grade: F! Once again, another point against pigeons.
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
As you may well know, Machine Gun Kelly is my nemesis, and he has done little of late to sway me otherwise. Evidenced recently by this HORRENDOUS cover he did of a System of a Down song:
As if life couldn’t get any worse.
Answer: I mean, it’s shocking to know someone, something, made me SYMPATHETIC to System of a Down, who, as a rule, suck.
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
HELP!!! Someone explain even one part of this to me!!!
Shit you really ought to read
Truth and reconciliation in Canada. Ready 4 the Kollontai revival. Sorry not sorry but here’s more “Gilded Age” content.