John Lennon and windows ruin everything, AGAIN
Crack
Originally I was thinking of writing this super long, detailed list about the best of 2019 or the decade and then I realized I literally cannot remember anything from before 3 months ago, which makes this hard.
And whenever people tell you their year-end things, it’s so self-serving! Okay dude from college, SO COOL to know that The Mountain Goats were your most-played in 2019. REAL COOL. SO IMPRESSED. WHAT ARE YOU A PERSON WORKING AT POWELL’S IN 2006????? Oh hey chick from high school, you listened to a lot of Carly Rae Jepsen this year? WE ALL DID, DEAL WITH IT.
But guess what, dis is mah newsletter, so I’m going to torture you all. Here’s a grab bag list of things I didn’t hate this year and 50% is not from 2019 so what does that say (it says I’m getting to that special age where I think about trying acupuncture and consider sheet thread count):
Wendy Williams telling us Baby Yoda is “the moment”;
Parasite/Hustlers/Citizen Kane/4 Weddings and a Funeral/Gidget Goes to Rome/Every Which Way But Loose/Colette were my favorite movies I watched this year.
“Cats Can Have a Little Salami”
Taking a deep dive into X’s “Wild Gift”/ Buffy Sainte-Marie/Rico Nasty/FKA Twigs “Magdalene”/Priests “Seduction of Kansas”/Kehlani’s “While We Wait”/Revisiting Lesley Gore/SOPHIE/Nick Lowe/CHAI are probably the things I enjoyed listening to most this year
I’m getting to the age where I have opinions about wine (#winemom)
Tara Booth’s comics, also Lore Olympus is an adorable comic
Books about deeply un-likeable women (Fear of Flying/Eve Babitz/Albertine Sarrazin/Colette/Kathy Acker/Margaret Atwood’s “Alias Grace”)
Lorelai Ramirez and Patti Harrison are funny folks
Jacqueline Novak’s “On Your Knees”
I learned to enjoy tomatoes
God I feel amazing now after thinking about things that I like. What a fun time for me.
Pigeon report
I heard something on the radio (yeah bitch I own the tote bag) about how NYC was considering requiring anyone building a skyscraper to put in “bird-proof” windows. I full-heartedly am behind this. Birds dying because of our stupid windows is wrong and bad and humans ruin everything. That SAID, I am HIGHLY suspicious of this move, and have a feeling it came about as a result of the powerful pigeon lobby, which we all know is firmly in Bill de Blasio’s pocket. Stay tuned for my 14 page investigation on this tktk.
Grade: A+, well-played big pidge
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
This originally was going to be about Shelley Duvall who I truly do check-in on regularly because she is really unwell and has mental health issues exacerbated by shitty treatment from macho male directors, but the whole thing makes me so sad I can’t so instead…
CATS. You guys actors in Cats making the press rounds for what is clearly going to be the worst movie I’ve seen since Gigli is so delightfully painful. You know it’s gonna bomb and all these A and sorta-B listers are trying to defend cats having breasts in puff pieces for Buzzfeed. It doesn’t help that this movie is filled with so many unbearable actors. James Corden is responsible for Trump’s second term if it happens and you can quote me on that.
I really think the Broadway Cats stinks big time too. Everything about that show screams “drama kid in your 10th grade class who tried to lead a sing along of ‘Memory’ during a school trip to Denver and no one joined in”. Cats is also a disservice to real cats. Real cats are weird- aloof-cute monsters and would want nothing to do with this movie that STEALS their culture.
At least they’re keeping Judi Dench in headlines, so we have that to be thankful for.
Grade: C, for cats hate this.
Photo (YouTube screenshot/Me)
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
“Acting scene”=Murder
Photo (Craigslist screenshot)
Hints from Hellouise
Can you believe it only took me half an hour, an old t-shirt, five miles of tin foil and 60 pounds of hot glue to make this exquisite bespoke Xmas angel?
Shit you really ought to read
Pete Buttigieg’s Campaign Says This Wikipedia User Is Not Pete. So Who Is It?-Slate. Ashley Feinberg is SO good at the internet it makes me scream.
Brittany Murphy Still Deserves Your Attention-Flood Magazine. I always thought Murphy was a very underrated comedic actress and her death such a loss, and this is a really nice and sad reappraisal of her work.
Your weekly jam
NYT Op-Docs have been putting out a really excellent series on the theme of “Almost Famous”, and the series is so good. I think it’s interesting to think about why we think that not achieving fame is a failure, because these stories are so important, and also most of them show that becoming “famous” doesn’t really do much to improve or change your life in a good way. Anyways, I love love love this one on The Liverbirds, an all-female garage band from the 60’s. I’d heard of them before, but there’s really not much out there on background that I had read about them before watching this. It just makes my heart happy to think about how cool these women are and they’re still friends (MY HEART). If this doesn’t make you cry you are a monster. Also, JOHN LENNON IS THE WORST IN THIS.