I've had my pigeon corn already, thanks
I inexplicably got caught up in reading twitter drama/trend pieces between NYC media types about hipsters in Manhattan vs. Brooklyn, and despite having lived in NYC for 6+ years now, it was like reading hieroglyphs. Like, literally I have never heard of half these people or “spots” and it’s not like I’m 100% a hermit! I go out…sometimes!
But this simply is not what life is like here, at least for me. And it’s annoying because people read these trend pieces and then move here expecting glamour and drama, when the most glamorous things are grannies in pleasers hanging out in sun chairs by the cemetery, or a man at a diner wearing a suit with his puppet in a matching suit, and the drama is me trying to figure out when will I ever see the obese one-eyed cat at the Yemeni grocery market again. The “glamour” people in NYC are really like five nepotism babies who went to NYU and now have gallery jobs, podcasts and a healthy coke habit.
Anyways, idk man, I’m addicted to reading this dumb shit, so no remedy for me now.
Theme music for this newsletter
I heard this Brazilian banger on Tik Tok and have been boppin’ to it non-stop, I especially like the girl-singers’ angry vibes. Then I looked up the lyrics and they are XXX/NOT FOR KIDS/Rated M…so I like it even more now.
Pigeon Report
I like learning about my family history, as it’s filled with lots of interesting people (to me) from countries where most dishes involve potatoes.
But sometimes you find out things that you wish you had never known. In this instance, I have discovered that Blackpool England, hometown (well sort of , she got pushed there by WWII) of my Grandma and family, is also…home to the biggest gathering of pigeons and their sick SICK handlers!? Now I must learn to live with the knowledge that my family came from the home of the annual Royal Pigeon Racing Association.
The description of the event sounds horrifying, and is also weirdly sexist:
Why would the women need to go shopping? Some of us already came with several bags of pigeon corn, thank you vert much. Who’s to say the women aren’t the ones racing pigeons, huh? Women can be bad too! That’s why Imelda Marcos broke the glass ceiling for bad women!!! #GirlBoss #PigeonBoss
Every year they award the best (worst?) pigeon, and I’m not just saying this, all these damn winners look exactly like the ones in the area in front of the Myrtle-Wyckoff entrance.
Grade: C, I don’t know how to feel about this information.
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
I don’t have any hot gossip, but I did catch half of “Beach Blanket Bingo” the other day, unsurprisingly the second time I’ve seen the movie. But it reminded me yet again that I love Paul Lynde, one of the few sorta-openly gay comedians in the 60’s/70’s, and also my second favorite character on Bewitched, Uncle Arthur, only behind Endora, who is basically me if I was a witch in the 60’s
Anyways, these one-liners from Lynde on Hollywood Squares are, really good. And 60% of humor ages like vinegar, but this elicited some legit lols from me.
Answer: He’s dead, but I’m pretty sure he got in heaven just for having to tolerate being in “Beach Blanket Bingo”
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
Awwww, this is kinda sweet. I hope these two find each other!
THE ENDORSEMENT
I’m obsessed with these videos about people in far corners of Russia, mainly ethnic minorities, making traditional food at home. I’m always starving after I watch them and they’re so freaky soothing. I love this one where they’re making fish soup outside, my mouth is drooling at that plate of crawfish: