Intellect+ (dats me!)

The air is crisp-ish and I’m fully building my fall mood board rn (see below.) I’m ready to just go into the woods and pose dramatically by a stream until I get cold ten minutes later and walk home.

Theme music for this newsletter       

Isn’t this the scariest song about puberty you’ve ever heard?

Pigeon Report         

Here’s a tale as old as time. Girl goes out for dinner and drinks in East Village, girl falls down two flights of subway stairs, girl has had enough beers + given that the girl had already fallen down into the subway is like, yeah sure, lets just get on the train and go home. Girl gets off at stop, promptly realizes she cannot walk, calls a car, as she walks to the car, limping, falls into a pothole filled with dirt and goop, eventually makes it home. Girl thinks she’ll be fine if she sleeps with foot elevated, wakes up to find that is not the case. Girl goes to urgent care but their x-ray is broken (#relatable) and goes to second urgent care (#relatable) and then is diagnosed with a bad sprain (#debatable.) SO all of this is to say on my way home in a Lyft from the urgent care we were waiting in the middle of the street for quite some time because a girl was taking photos of a dead pigeon in the middle of the road and I feel like that pigeon in the middle of the road.

Grade: F for me and my pigeon brother.

Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers        

I have always gotten bad vibes from Lindsey Buckingham since I read this old interview from the early eighties where he bemoans being in Fleetwood Mac and wishes he had been the Clash instead, and it’s like, my dude no one put a gun to your head and MADE you make bad songs like this in 1982:

In a recent interview (why are we interviewing him?) he said of his former creative and romantic partners, and the ever-delightful-national-treasure Stevie Nicks: “Her creativity, at least for a while, it seemed like she wasn’t in touch with that – same with the level of energy she once had on stage. I think that was hard for her, seeing me jump around in an age-inappropriate way.” AND “Also, she’s lonely. She’s alone. She has the people who work for her, and I’m sure she has friends, but, you know.”

STEVIE IS NOT LONELY LINDSEY. Know how I know? Because I wanna be her best friend!!!! She will never be alone. SORRY you’re bummed that your ex is a talented person with an amazing collection of scarves. Let’s all cleanse ourselves with this compilation of Stevie spinning, shall we? Could you do THAT Mr. Buckingham??? Talk about energy.

Answer: Lindsey SUCKingham if you ask me

The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently      

Look, no judgement of non-monogamous relationships/throuples etc. Where my beef is with this post is the focus on being INTELLIGENT. I thought we as a people had realized saying you’re “sapiosexual” just makes you look like someone who only buys books to impress people. Similarly, anyone who identifies as INTELLIGENT, like really makes it part of their personality, has got to be a little bit dumb, right?

So, I guess these people will probably get the person perfect for them actually, now that I think about it.

Shit you really ought to read         

The “Roe baby” tells her story. #Tradwife. The new doc about LulaRoe is so juicy.