Have I passed my "fur cup" era?
I struggle at times with blaming things on the pandemic. On one hand, I’m like “Wow that was really traumatic, especially in March when you heard ambulances nonstop and trucks were filled with dead bodies, and you walked around your neighborhood in circles for hours just to fill the time.” But also, relatively speaking, the life I lead 2+ years on is in some ways, close to normal, just with like, an occasional added spice of *will I die or will I accidentally kill someone else* to it. And I’m extremely lucky. Kept my job, stayed pretty healthy, had someone living with me, etc.
I mention all of this because for months…maybe even years now, I feel like I’ve had the worst “writer’s block” of my entire life, and it is driving me insane. And I don’t want to blame it on the pandemic, so then I just get more annoyed because why isn’t my brain working!!! It’s the most obvious culprit, but it also seems like a decidedly lame one.
Since I was a child, I’ve consistently been an avid writer, even if said writing didn’t come out in newsletter form (9-yo me writing Cracks would fucking KILL, I guarantee it.) When I used to get a good idea for something to write, I’d kind of roll it around in my head for a few days and then sit down and bang out a rough draft in an insane flurry, do some rushed editing and declare it done. It felt great. I visualized these ideas in my head like a ball of dough, kind of rolling around and sitting a bit before needing baked. Now, the rolling around in my head part is where I’m frozen. I have these ideas, and I’m like, this is hilarious, I can’t wait to write it down. And then days go by and the point where I’d normally feel the need to put it on paper never comes. And whatever dough was in my brain just goes moldy. I just keep waiting, thinking that maybe that idea just wasn’t good or dynamic enough to spur me to write.
But I’ve had a lot of good ideas! My notes app on my phone is filled with them…are all of them good? Well, some recent ones include “When will 70’s camera-zooms come back?” “All the sea turtles getting unsolicited Xanax!” “No greater pleasure than an empty 4-lane street.” I didn’t say they were all winners.
I just feel so demoralized by such an extended writer’s block. I’m used to it broadly, but literally years. What if that’s it for me? What if I just never have the impetus to write again?
Recently I was at a retrospective for the artist Meret Openheim, a 20th century surrealist (you’ve probably seen that fur cup she made in some art history book.) Multiple times the bio/descriptions would say, “From 1954 (editor’s note: I forget the exact years so I’m kind of half-remembering here) to 1962 the artist was in a creative slump and hated everything she made.” Eight years?? That seems…like a long time to have brain block? Maybe that’s where I am? Maybe eight years from now I’m going to blow people’s minds with some amazing piece of writing? I don’t know if that’s the case. What if breaking a slump is the exception, not the rule? Or alternately, what if my slump lasts 30 years? That’s a long time to feel like you’re not being creative or mining your mind’s full potential. In Openheim’s case, she spent her whole life up until her death making interesting and compelling art. I just worry that I, as an average person, used up all the creativity I had inside of me, and this is it. Now all I’ll do is go down Reddit threads about 90-day Fiancé and read books about witches. Which, to be fair, is not the WORST way to spend my life, but is it the best use of ALL my time?
Suffice to say, Happy New Year woooohoooo, at least I’m writing Cracks right now! Drinking a hot cup of tea out of a fur cup. Cozy!
Theme music for this newsletter
I heard this coming out of a car this week and was absolutely delighted. This song has always been one of my favorite jams. Has the Trina re-evaluation/renaissance started? If so, I am fully HERE for it.
Pigeon Report
As this recent article has informed me, no matter how much I want it, NYC pigeons do not migrate, and one could argue WILL not, no matter how many flyers for condos in Florida I put in their nests. Although I’m sure Florida has reason to keep them out. How will “Florida Man” be able to keep up with the debauchery of a NYC pigeon, eyes rolling in two directions, hopped up on French fries and chicken bones, and emboldened by the humid Florida days? Now that I think about it, that descriptor could be for a pigeon or a man, you decide.
And look, the Florida man meme is overplayed but also…these were all in the last six weeks (and I cut this down only to the ones that I found most weird):
Grade: F+, you could fly for free and you choose to stay here all winter???
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
Even celebrities were taking it easy during this weird last week of the year, so I don’t really have much juicy goss to share. So, I’ll share something I’ve been more interested in lately and that is the sub-species of bird, known as the Potoo. This bird is the celebrity we need in 2023.
Answer: They’re stars!!!
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
Alright, I couldn’t decide between these two insane posts, so your special 2023 treat are TWO weird things I saw on Craigslist.
Firstly, we’ve all lost a white female friend at some point, get over it buddy!
And secondly, I’m not a Jazz™ person, so I hope someone can explain even one part of this, unless they want a cat that plays jazz, in which case, I can help them out.
THE ENDORSEMENT
I was gifted a cast-iron tortilla maker for Christmas and while I have only made one thing (corn tortillas) I already believe it will be a welcome addition to my life. I read like 400 different corn tortilla recipes beforehand (and had to consequently read 400 essays about said tortilla recipe) and there is sort of a divide as to whether you use fat in the recipe. Of those that called for some sort of oil, quite a few called for lard. And I was like, lard gets a bad rap, but like, I eat meat, so what’s the difference in buying a container of animal fat? Turns out it’s surprisingly hard to find real lard! Eventually I procured a container of duck fat, and I used that in the tortillas, and they were extremely delicious. So, what I’m trying to say is, don’t be afraid to keep a pound of duck fat in your fridge as a general rule.