Florida pigeons have a special vibe
I’m so sweaty. Like my main pastime right now is being sweaty, and doing everything I can to escape that state, which in a nutshell is what being a human is all about. Hating your body, and just trying to fight against the water seeping out of one’s pores.
SUMMMMMMMMER LOVIN’!
In other news, New York must be back because I saw a guy on the train the other day with a black plastic bodega bag filled with bugs and he was trying to get them to fight each other on the floor of the train. Why did I get vaccinated again?
Theme music for this newsletter
This song + Afrika Bambaataa sample + Missy Elliott directing = *chef’s kiss*
Pigeon Report
Based on this and the five million homing pigeons that went missing a few weeks ago, I’m starting to feel like the name is perhaps a misnomer. According to the police, “they were creating hazardous driving conditions and police referred to the incident as “The worst case scenario- homing pigeons that can’t find their home.” But this kinda seems par for the course. Perhaps rather than “homing”, it should be “fucking up our lives for no reason?” Idk. Just a thought
Grade: D, but I’ll give them points for the chaotic vibes.
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
I believe I have spoken at length in Cracks about my deep love for Wendy Williams. Do I condone everything she says, absolutely not, but I cannot but help but love and respect her unhinged insanity, especially when this particular video is 100% some shit I would accidentally do:
Answer: She is fine, Swavy…not so much.
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
Sure, seems like a really fair trade, especially since there’s such a hot market for Mao watches these days.
Shit you really ought to read
A journey through loneliness. Lives lost, and for why? Dude, I miss the Rosie O’ Donnell Show!!!