Catch my band live on the William Floyd Parkway
So how’s everyone doing? Yeah? Cool cool cool. Uh, me too. For sure. No doubt, no doubt.
I’ll keep this short this week because when I went to look at my notes for this week I had “How do you pronounce Dido?” and “Fred Durst is so sad,” two threads which are better left unraveled, don’t you agree?
Theme music for this newsletter
Little Richard!? What can you say except, to me he is everything I like about rock and roll. A little queer, a little complicated, fun, smart, a little bit of an unhinged maniac…it’s perfect.
I could link to anything:
Pigeon report
The other day I walked through an empty city thoroughfare, confronted by approx. 67,000 pigeons. I was cornered, facing my greatest fears and there was no way I could turn around (because I’m lazy) so I had to walk through the writhing, cooing, SCREAMING mass of pigeons to make it to the other side of the street. I risked it, for the biscuit, and I survived.
Grade: A+ to me for surviving a flock of pigeons, my sanity and body intact.
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
This week had a wealth of stupid celebrity stories. And yet, it was clear to me which one was the stupidest the minute I saw it. The world may be falling apart, but at least we can all agree Gary Busey’s new “Pet Judge” show, is the literal last thing we need right now.
I can’t tell if this show is serious or like “ironic serious” but both options are dreadful and it’s clear that this show isn’t FOR anyone, it’s just FOR punishment purposes. And even writing this quickly became punishment when I somehow ended up spending half an hour reading Amazon reviews of Gary Busey’s autobiography, “Buseyisms”
Answer: He’s doing great but I’m in hell.
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
I have so many questions, and so few answers from this post, but it’s clear that SOMEONE is not legally allowed to be around people.
Hints from Hellouise
Oh my god you guys, I am truly living for the internet drama between celebrity chefs right now. I am ashamed to say I genuinely could not fall asleep Friday night because I was too busy reading hot takes about it. Who knew that what this divided nation (read: my brain) needed was some grade D internet beef to bring me back to life?
As far as real recipes, I’m so burned out on my own cooking. The act of cutting, preparing food, cooking, I still like, because I find it meditative, but I’m tired of my own skill level. I want someone who’s REALLY good at cooking to cook my food god damn it!!! I have progressively become lazier in what I want to make for dinner. The other day I was contemplating how delightful the pairing of a handful of pre-shedded cheese and one salty pickle is, and honestly that feels like a recipe to me.
Shit you really ought to read
The all-pancake diet. Lou Reed’s complicated love life and trans erasure. Trapped on a cruise ship for months (more than a week sounds like hell so). Vita Sackville-West had more drama in one month than I have had in my entire life.