Beetle Bailey x Nike coming soon
You’ll probably be shocked to know I spend a lot of time online window shopping (and uh, buying stuff too). A shock I am sure, given that I am such a selfless, generous, and pious individual, spending most of my days like this:
But alas, the siren call of capitalism (it’s this song) is irresistible, and like women have for eons, I do be shopping. One thing I’ve noticed over the last few years is that it seems like every brand will do some sort of “collab” with a cartoon brand, usually something older and instantly recognizable. Lacoste and Peanuts? Lazy Oaf and Garfield? And full disclosure I do own a piece from the Betty&Veronica and Rachel Antonoff collab because it is very good.
I’m thinking I need to get in on this while the getting’s good. Would you, dear reader, buy something from a Beetle Bailey x Nike collab? What about Family Circus x Supreme? Please send in your thoughts and credit card information to learn more.
Theme music for this newsletter
Hey, why not plug some more Herb Alpert in this newsletter?
Pigeon Report
This report is not specifically about a pigeon, but rather the hot cousin of pigeons, doves. I was on vacation last week, making the ol’ classical rounds (Greece, Turkey) when I had a terrifying encounter, that also proved I am the bravest woman in the world.
Upon walking into our lovely, very hip Istanbul Airbnb apartment, I walked into the back room, to find a terrified dove flying around like a madman. I assumed he came through the window, though I had a moment of wondering if this was just a weird pet our hosts neglected to tell us about and we were now responsible for the dove.
So, I did what had to be done. I grabbed a towel (because city birds are filthy as a rule) and caught the bird in my HUMAN HANDS and freed him unto the night. Where he very likely went on to live a great and illustrious life.
Grade: A+++ to me, as I am now a hero in the bird community.
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
I know we’re supposed to love ourselves, to respect our bodies, to participate in self care, but then why did I binge-watch the cursed “Selling Sunset” spinoff, “Selling the OC” in two days??? Please call Bellevue and reserve a bed for me now.
Like Selling Sunset, Selling OC is about people with ready access to light plastic surgery procedures selling houses with 10 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms. The big difference with the new show though is that it has BOYS. Really really dumb ones.
One of these dumb boys is “Tyler” who said the things he loves the most in life are 1. Surfing; 2. Selling Real Estate; and 3. His wife and dog (he stressed they are equal, but in case it’s confusing, his wife is not a dog.) And the wife in question is b-list actress Brittany Snow (I have no info on who the dog is.) She must have also binge-watched the show alongside me, because the two are now separating which means there will DEFINITELY be a second season of this dreadful show.
Answer: Is he okay? Better to ask if I am okay for watching this show!!
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
Aww man that sucks…I was hoping for DEAD carpenter ants.
THE ENDORSEMENT
Ooooh a few weeks ago, I mixed coconut Lacroix with maraschino cherries and sliced oranges, and it literally tasted like a cream soda. And if you want to be CRAZY, a few splashes of orange bitters make you feel like a fancy man while drinking it.