Baby Yoda asks if you too hear this horrible scream all around you that people usually call silence?

Crack

I have had Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” stuck in my head, as will happen to most of us at some point. Specifically that line where he’s like “36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3" I’ve been sitting here with a pencil and paper trying to figure out what the difference would be and how he determined those measurements work on 5’3 but not 5’4. He must be really good at building bookshelves.

Every time I hear that line I have an overwhelming urge to just yell out measurements as well. “100-789-898? Ha ha, Only if she’s very tall!”, “15-15-15? Ha ha, only if she’s a wooden box!”, or “89-6-14? Ha ha only if she’s a medical anomaly!”

Pigeon report

A busy week for America’s nastiest bird I’ll tell you what. The pigeons are out and in full force as they feast on the last remains of fall (read: sandwiches thrown in the trash). I never thought I would ever say this, but I saw a truly striking pigeon (and I mean, pretty, not that the pigeon was striking me with a tire iron or something). It was all black, shiny, and clearly disdainful of the species it was associated with.

Grade: A, that’s one fine lookin’pigeon.

Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers

I think Star Wars is (are?) fine. Some of the movies are entertaining, especially when Carrie and Harrison are clearly coked the hell up and having a great time. But now that Disney owns all the Star Wars etc. it’s just a constant barrage of new kids toys that I can’t keep up with, and clearly just a ploy to squeeze every last possible angle out of the plotline of “what if wars, but like, on a star?” until our brains melt.

That said, I will die for Baby Yoda. I haven’t even seen that new Star Wars show thing because, girl, I have 20 episodes of Love Island UK to catch up on. But when I saw Baby Yoda, I gave him a big big big BIG thumbs up, because he is cute and tiny and universally I support all things cute and tiny. Werner Herzog feels similarly.

I guess Werner has been bored, because he apparently has some sort of acting role in that new Star Wars show with a name I refuse to look up the spelling of. Let me tell you, if you’re trying to get kids on board with this show, you’re gonna need Werner Herzog because if there is one thing universally beloved by children it’s…Werner Herzog? Wow, suddenly realizing the producers at Disney+ are probably as coked up as the cast of “Return of the Jedi”

Anyways Werner Herzog loves baby Yoda and knowing that brings so much joy to my heart.

From GQ:´” When the interviewer asked him to elaborate on why exactly it was so heartbreaking, he shook his head wistfully and admitted that he didn’t know why it touched his soul so deeply. He hadn't even seen it onscreen yet. “It looked absolutely convincing,” he continued. “It made you cry when you saw it.”

Also this comment from director Deborah Chow about shooting scenes with Werner and baby Yoda has destroyed my soul:

Grade: A+++++++ Werner Herzog and Baby Yoda are the only good things in this world.

Photo Credit: NY Times screenshot

The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently

Photo (Craigslist screenshot)

Just reading this gives me a tension headache. And also makes me angry because I had to Google who Wayne Krantz was and it gave me such a bad case of Downtown Taos hotel lobby music I may never recover. Whoever responds to this ad deserves whatever they get because what could be more fun than a very serious drummer jamming to Steely Dan?

Hints from Hellouise
Someone told me they removed cheese from their diet and lost a lot of weight, but I wish someone could quantify the emotional trauma GAINED from that.

Shit you really ought to read
Okay I’m sorry I’ve had a stupid af work week so this is hella short.

Rebecca Nagle on the Case That Could Alter Indigenous Land Rights Forever-Evette Dionne, Bitch. This Land was an excellent podcast and I learned a lot about stuff that I am stupidly ignorant on when it comes to indigenous land rights. Wanna learn more about it? Then peep this interview with the writer.

Is the Supreme Court’s Fate in Elena Kagan’s Hands?-Margaret Talbot, The New Yorker. I am very into the Supreme Court, and even I realized that I know literally nothing about Elena Kagan, so this was an extra helpful profile.

Your weekly jam
Family Affair-Mary J. Blige. Oh I’m sorry, you need me to convince you to listen to this? Get out of here.