A single preemie who works two jobs
I was in New England the other day (as ya do,) and I suddenly had the phrase “I’m the ghost of Benjamin Franklin and I came here to FUCK,” pop into my brain.
What do you guys think it means???
Theme music for this newsletter
This is fast becoming a Reba newsletter, isn’t it? I never realized the theme to her show was about being a preemie.
Pigeon Report
And I thought the 2021 COVID Olympics were bad! Anyone remember the 1936 Berlin Olympics? I mean, duh, it’s all I can ever talk about. Anyways, at the opening ceremony they released one gajillion pigeons and the pigeons freaked out and pooped on EVERYBODY. I’m glad they pooped on Hitler because I would too, but on EVERYONE? The least they could have done is only targeted Hitler and directed all their excrement at him.
There’s a lot of reasons to hate Nazis, and this certainly isn’t the MOST important reason, but it doesn’t help.
Grade: F Are we surprised Hitler was a big pigeon fan?
Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers
I don’t know why I watch Selling Sunset. I really don’t, everyone on it is dreadful and their eyes look like Frozen-Disney characters because they get those good kind of botox/treatments that make your eyes look like big and cute like those of a tiny baby. Honestly the best part of the show is seeing the ugly houses they sell in LA, that all have like 14 bathrooms and two bedrooms.
Anyways, Chrishelle, one of the more likeable characters, is now dating one of her bosses, Jason Oppenheim, a small bald man with nice clothes.
The main thing I think about though when I think about him is that in one episode he said he loves buying cheap medieval books on eBay and putting them on his shelf, even though he is clearly the type of man who never reads books. Like, what if he buys a haunted book? What if it’s a medieval book filled with ways to kill witches? Idk man, just seems like bad juju to me. And now Chrishelle is stuck in his apartment, looking at shelves empty save for a few artistically placed books about how to use leeches to treat hysteria in women.
Answer: Idk, I’m worried about Chrishelle’s well-being
The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently
I’ve played this game buddy, and let me tell you, NOBODY wins.
Shit you really ought to read
Olympic TikToks! Not an article but read this and this recently and enjoyed them both for very diff reasons.