2021: The year the SMiZE died

Y’all, I really wanted to do an end of year “best of” list, but 2021 was seriously one of the dumbest years in all history and everything is just a weird green mush in my lil baby brain, so here’s just a few things I listened to/watched/read/consumed that stuck with me:

Musics

Ukraine’s gift to Eurovision, Go_A_Shum/Indonesian Indie pop heroes Grrrl Gang/Halsey’s If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power/Low’s Hey What/Crown of Creation-Jefferson Airplane/Listening to any solo John Cale album on a Sunday/Twerkulator by City Girls is a perfect song/Phantom Thread OST (where my THREADHEADS at!?)/1910 Fruitgum Company/ Berlin post-punk queens, Malaria/The Crystals teen dramas/Prince’s weird lyrics on Controversy

Thingies I watched

Again, where my THREADHEADS at!?/Preston Sturges, “All Hail the Conquering Hero,”/Der Blaue Engel/ Marilyn Monroe is so devastating in the Misfits it makes me want to cry/In the Mood for Love/In Heaven There is No Beer/Gates of Heaven (a perfect documentary, honestly)/Emma./Days of Heaven/Desert Hearts/My Cousin Vinny/The Great/I Will Destroy You/Succession!!!!!!!!!!!  

The eye read things

Such a fun age/The Old Man and Me/On earth, we’re briefly gorgeous/Mexican Gothic/The Luminaries/Their Eyes Were Watching God/Hollywood Babylon/Milkfed/The Vanishing Half/Nobody is talking about this/Woman Hollering Creek/Hour of the Witch/Uncanny Valley

Theme music for this newsletter        

What better way to end 2021 than with some inexplicable Siberian folk pop?

Pigeon Report        

What if, in 2022, I took a kinder look at pigeons? What if I turned my hate towards things that are truly evil, like the alt-right and the return of velveteen crop tops? Reader, I promise you, that for at least the next few weeks, I will look at pigeons with new eyes, appreciating their skills of survival in urban and rural landscapes alike, their tenacity in the face of a rapidly changing world, their stubborn commitment to thriving even in the face of utter doom.

And then I will forget as soon as one flies in my damn face while I’m riding my bike again.

Grade: A, because pigeons are resilient lil’ critters, and I am a kind and generous soul

Are you okay? Checking in on my favorite d-listers             

It is with great sadness that I must tell you that entrepreneur, model, and noted talk show-host, Tyra Banks, has closed the physical location of her SMiZE ice cream shop. But have no fear, it is still readily available for order.

While I have never had the pleasure of having this ice cream, it appears the reviews of the storefront, were…mixed. Honestly, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to find out Tyra is the one responding to each one (all 33!) of the reviews of her store. She’s nothing if not thorough.

Answer: Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone is smizing right now

The weirdest shit I saw on Craigslist recently     

Ah yes, nothing can possibly go wrong when you ask men to “let it rip” about women. *Nervously laughs while walking away from room backwards* I’ll just be…heading out now.

Shit you really ought to read           

An escape from Kabul. Okay, I idolize Eve Babitz, and I still laughed at this. But seriously, such a bummer that she’s gone. A Christmas message from Kate Bush.